It’s time to inhale the truth and proceed forward. There is no better cure then time itself. Let the healing process begin. I’m going to show the world what I’m capable of accomplishing.

It’s 2012 and I didn’t start my diet plan, I didn’t do my 365, I didn’t start videoing again (hell I haven’t even touched my camera), I didn’t finish my website, and I didn’t put my project out. It’s a new year to start fresh or even finish what I started but I haven’t done either. Instead I’m working day in and day out. Making sure every bill in the house is paid on time. Making sure both of my parents are healthy and satisfied. Making sure my brother stays on his feet. Instead of going out and chasing my dreams I’ve been a little busy making sure others don’t have theirs fall apart. That’s the problem with me, I’m always caring. Instead of closing a deal for myself, I end up closing a deal to make sure someone else can eat good tonight. Don’t take this as a complaining post cause its actually the furthest from it. There is one thing on the other I would like to let you in on. We’ve all waited out our plans til the new year to begin believing that it’s what will motivate us into losing the pounds, eating healthy, picking up an old hobby or even loving a new one. Truth is, you are that motivation. (I know, I know, common sense but seriously hear me out). We allow ourselves to believe that it’ll only work if we start on the day we say we will or base it on what’s trending at the moment. Your diet plan doesn’t have to begin January 1st and you’re not stupid or lazy if you keep holding it off. It’s funny how we all gather around together before the new year and share our resolutions or what we hope to accomplish or how we hope to get it done, then your due date arrives and you realize you haven’t even paid any mind to the concept, project, diet, or hobby you planned to work on. I guess what I’m trying to say is even though I’d love to start my diet and lose a ton of weight, sometimes things unfold a little differently. I’m a completely different person from last year to now and I’ve realized a lot of things about myself I never paid mind too. I’m a very hard working person. I’m a very dedicated and respectful person. I have a very good head on my shoulders. I am the dream girl you’re looking for (humorous speaking) but no seriously, I am. I’m a lot more responsible, a lot more aware and a lot more forgiving. But I have a lot more growing up to do and discovering. I guess this post was to allow myself to remember I’m allowed to make mistakes and sometimes I do let people walk all over me but I know I’m growing. There’s nothing more beautiful than that. Nothing more motivating than know that. Love yourself and always be real. It will get you very far in your life. It will make you realize just how precious this life really is.

Whatever, it makes sense to me

Outro.

Let me get a few things off my chest and make clear to my followers, friends, associates.

1. I’m not a kid, so don’t give me that little kid bullshit. Face me as an adult and sort it out with me one on one.

2. Don’t tell me you would never hurt me or treat me like my past when really you will. We both know you don’t deserve me so don’t waste your time let alone mine..

3. If you do not respect the fact that I’m on my grind to have a good future and live good, piss off.

4. I’m not anyone’s babysitter so don’t expect me to express my feelings everyday. I don’t like sitting and reminding people every waking moment I only want them and I’m here to stay. I put effort in showing and saying that, no need for me to repeat it so don’t sit and doubt me. If I don’t want you or to be with you I’ll make it clear and not waste your time or once again mine.

5. I’m blunt, I don’t care. I’ll hurt your feelings when you’re being stupid. Once again I’m not a kid, don’t give me that little kid shit.

I’m sure everyone reading this probably thinks I’m an asshole in a relationship. But ask anyone from my past I put in 100% if not more to make it clear I want them. If I’m grindin’ and can’t see them everyday I reassure them that this grind isn’t just for me. If things fall together and that persons a ride or die for me the grind is for us. I’ve been hurt multiple times but I never treat the next like shit cause my past did. Ive given every person a fair shot. The person in my life now has nothing to do with my past. Maybe I shouldn’t be that way, but I am. Just because my past was fucked up doesn’t mean this person is too. Who am I to judge? But you know what they say. When alls said and done mores always said and done. Might be the issue for others, as for me…well I’m fine where I am now. A lot of amazing things are coming my way. Who knows…maybe one of them is you, whoever you are. Til then, take care.